Understanding the Grieving Process After Pet Loss

By the Pet Memorials team · 4 min read · Updated September 2026

There's no single "right" way to grieve a pet, and no fixed timeline you're supposed to follow. Grief is personal, shaped by your relationship with your pet, your own history with loss, and the circumstances of how they died.

Grief doesn't move in a straight line

Some people move through recognisable phases: shock, anger, guilt, sadness and, eventually, a kind of settled acceptance. Others experience grief more like waves: intense at first, then gradually less frequent and less overwhelming, but never fully gone.

It's common for a song, a smell, an anniversary, or even walking past a pet shop to bring the grief rushing back years later. That's not a setback; it's simply how loss works.

It can't be rushed

Some people start to feel lighter within weeks. For others, real healing takes months or longer, especially after a sudden loss or the death of a pet that played an outsized role in their life: a working dog, an assistance animal, or the only companion in an otherwise quiet home.

What tends to make grief heavier

• Losing a pet suddenly or traumatically, rather than after a long illness.
• Losing your only companion, especially if you live alone.
• Financial constraints that meant you couldn't pursue every possible treatment.
• A pet that filled a specific role: service animal, working dog or emotional support.

What actually helps

• Letting yourself feel it, rather than pushing it down. Suppressed grief tends to resurface later, often harder to manage.
• Talking about your pet, to friends, family or others who understand, rather than carrying it alone.
• Writing down memories, or simply naming out loud what you're missing about them.

For practical ideas, read healthy ways to cope with the grief of losing a pet.

Written by the Pet Memorials team. We're pet parents who make personalised pet memorials in our Midrand workshop. We write these guides to help South African families through the loss of a pet. They're not a substitute for advice from your vet or a counsellor.